Although I don’t hate this Showtime television series and am looking forward to season 2, I wouldn’t feel right recommending it. This show is not for everybody and definitely not for kids. Hell this show isn’t for most people. It is a huge understatement when they say adult content and nudity. It is basically a porno with dialog and a plot made for Showtime. This is one of those shows that pushes the limit to see what they can get away with.

The first episode of season one didn’t do much to make me like this show. It was in fact a huge turn off as it would be for anybody with even the tiniest amount of morals. Unless it is the same old refurbished crap or mind numbing reality tv I try to give it a chance. I’m mean really it has to get better, right? Don’t hold your breath for it to get better right away. Actually by episode three you’ll wonder if it will get better at all. Like I said this one won’t be for everybody.

There are moments that will at least bring a smile to your face. Sometimes it is even worth a giggle. David Duchovny has ditched his Mulder persona completely by becoming Hank Moody. With Californication, Duchovny can now be typecast as a pervert instead of a wimpy FBI agent or stuck in sci-fi.

The plot… Hank Moody is a writer/father with commitment issues and a loose penis. A wannabe writer set her sites on Hank to help kick start her career. Since all it takes is a hello for Hank to have sex with somebody he is in bed with her in no time. This is unfortunate for Hank when she turns out to be the underage daughter of his ex’s fiancée. What I find refreshing about this is, they don’t make you feel sorry for Hank for being deceived. They don’t make you like the deceiving little witch either. They do make you want to know how this will play out. I loved the season finale it had a bit of an unexpected twisted and I was left dieing to know what would happen next.

I hope it means there will be less of Hanks penis but I have my doubts. Duchovny is in rehab for a sex addiction. How convenient that it would be all over the papers right before the start of the new season. Great publicity or pathetic publicity stunt? As with Dexter, Showtime leaked the first episode of season 2 of Californication on the net. Decide for yourself if you can stand this one.

This cover is….well….I’m speechless. A simple three letter word springs to mind.

POX

How dare they.

What is it with music and people covering everyone else’s songs? Yeah yeah, some of them are good, but some are just plain abysmal.

Like this idiot who thought she was good enough to cover one of the music worlds true masterpieces.

Thats right, Madonna attempting to prove she is an artist of some repute by attaching herself “crab style” to the perfect as it is American Pie.

Speaking of masterpieces, I the Paddy have re drawn, or “covered” if you will, the Mona Lisa.

Scoff if you will, but I see a startling quality similarity between my cover version and Madonnas. Do you think we can get it hung in the National Gallery? I mean Madonnas joke got played on the radio, so why can’t I get my magnum opus (or magnificent octopus) in the gallery?

Don’t worry about that old piece of shit Da Vinci did a million years ago, this is the all new “minimalist” remade for the new millennium version.

Who is the most offensive “artist” currently plying their wares in the music world? Some will say Marylin Manson, others will say Cradle of Filth I guess. Still others will lay the blame for “shock offense rock” at the feet of the ultra conservative (and totally magnificent), Alice Cooper.

For my money though, I have to say Michale Bubble is the most offensive streak of rancid festering vomitus I have ever had the displeasure to hear.

The Bubble is as fresh as last months unwashed underpants. He is as original as crabs on a hippy. He is as exciting as watching grass grow. Yet he recently sold out three concerts at Melbourne’s Rad Laver arena.

The biggest problem I have with the git is that you can wander into any cabaret venue in most any city on the planet and there is a Michale Bubble, probably better and more exciting to boot.

He only recently began writing his own material, previously relying on ancient crap from long dead (or vanished) people with ten times his talent, and here, get this, the first song he wrote that was released as a single was about his relationship with his girlfriend, but by the time it came out the relationship had ended. According to this fawning leg root report, he “had to relive the song — and the freshly snuffed relationship — every night on stage.”

Diddums hey.

This guy is a joke, a fraud a talentless tosser, and if you parted with good hard earned money to listen to his insipid covers (and a smattering of originals) rather than go to your local theater restaurant and support a real artist, then you are a fool.

Here, watch the Bubble in full flight driving a stake through the previously unkillable Fever

Michale Bubble, you are a wanker.

This is how Fever should be sung, by a woman (as opposed to a testosterone deficient man) courtesy of the beautiful and talented Nana Visitor.

Patrick and I love to watch horror movies. Lately we have watched lots of them. We’ve watched a few newer movies, but mostly we’ve dusted off the old teen slasher flicks and viewed them as marathons.

First off we sat through Hellraisers 1-8. Honestly I have never watched a Hellraiser movie until now, and I’m not sure I can really get into them. In all horror movies there is a basic formula as to what makes you a potential victim, with Hellraiser I think they tried to get a bit too creative.

The Hellraiser plot is basically… you solve the puzzle, open the box, and Pinhead comes for you and inflicts upon you unimaginable pain. How hard is it for writers to understand this? Well folks it must be pretty hard because in one of the movies I think Pinhead showed up once and that appearance seemed to be more of an after thought. As in ‘oh yeah, we are making a pinhead movie maybe we should insert bad guy here and hope he appearance doesn’t screw up our movie’.

What the hell kind of thinking is behind the concept of ‘lets bring bad guy into the future and put him in space’ all about? Futuristic Sci-Fi/Horror only works if the bad guy(s) are aliens and sucks as bad as prequels. Instead of into the future, prequels send you into the past to set up a story that has already been playing out for insert # of sequels here . They try to explain why the demented resurrected psycho is a mindless slasher. Prequels really piss me off.

With a prequel they manage to screw up their own story line. Imagine you have sat through ‘horror movie 1-5 and then some jackass who obviously has never seen this particular horror movie decides to make a prequel. While watching this crap your only thought is “I hope the idiot who wrote this was the first victim of this movie”. Your next thought is “what a waste of downloads”. Aren’t you glad you didn’t spend money on that load of crap? lol

In the end Hellraiser had a lot of potential to be a great slasher flick. Unfortunately it missed the plot.

What do you suppose goes through (what passes for) the mind of a poptart when someone suggests she is some kind of artist equal to the task of redoing a masterpiece?

I bet Brtineys puppet masters thought they could really get a rise out of people if they instructed the scrubber to attempt The Rolling Stones classic Satisfaction. And just to ensure the paparazzi would bust a nut over it, she could turn it into some kind of pre pubescent little boys wet dream by performing what she is really good at, taking her clothes off, while singing it.

Who the hell does she think she is…..or more precisely what the hell does she think she is? A singer? An artist of some kind?

Brtiney dear, you are a poptart. Nothing more nothing less, just do poptart songs luv, leave the real music to the grownups.

Watch this abomination if you dare. You may need a bucket.

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